Last one.

Aggressively we all defend the role we play
Regrettably time’s come to send you on your way
We’ve seen it all bonfires of trust flash floods of pain
It doesn’t really matter don’t you worry it’ll all work out
No it doesn’t even matter don’t you worry what it’s all about
We hope you enjoyed your stay
It’s good to have you with us, even if it’s just for the day

To my friend.


Be glad in the life you have, and use it as a platform to get to where you want to be.

I know it's hard, I live here too. I always get reminded to be the mountain man that I never will be, but you know what, the concrete feels a little softer under the half an inch of rubber sole on my converses when you walk alongside me and it breaks my heart that it's gotten to this point.

2009

As I sit here in my parents living room while my dad sleeps quietly upstairs and my mother and grandma upload pictures online, I look at my Christmas tree and say to myself, "In hindsight, 2009 was pretty awesome."

Bon Iver finally clicking. The first time night. Getting numb and eating my way to sobriety on steak sandwiches stuffed with mozzarella sticks and sleeping on California king size beds. That night we watched married with children for 5 hours and drank 40's. Valentines Day at Harpen Bar. Mild weather and playing my Ukulele in montclar. Karaoki at Panama Dave's house. That night the parakeet bit my finger. That time we smoked cloves behind the science building. That night we stayed out till 5 am and jammed in the woods. That night we ate White Castle in my car and made "closure". Friendiversaries Modest Mouse at Terminal 5 and whip it balloons at Carliles. 4 for $1 dumplings at China Town. That incredible night we had really shitty hookah. Eating burgers and coca-cola at south street seaports with Black and Milds while we watched The pains of being pure at heart for free on my birthday. Your birthday when we saw Tallest man on earth at the bowery. No more probation day. Sonic's for the first time. New apartment day. Rescuing bucho. Spring time walks around your neighborhood. Your dance to funk music. My last night with Jeff. September night running. Nintendo 64 at the hospice. The time we had a picnic in my room. The summer carnival where you told me your secret. That warm may morning when I walked you home. Our first party. Rocky (the dog). This night. Puerto Rico. Crying with my sister. Crying with my father. Au Revoir Simone at music hall. 90 minute dogfish head in Greenpoint. Seeing Meric Long in Williamsburg. That time we smoked behind the baseball field. My "Give" tattoo. Sunset Rubdown and Halal platters. Scraping together just enough money for Old English 40's and one meal a day day's with my roommates. Sun shower at Explosions in the sky at Central Park. This night. That night I saved you at PACE. My long weekend in Ithaca. Your long weekend in New Jersey. Photoshoots. Nights at Loop. That time I recorded in the woods. Winter hikes alone. Rutgers botanical garden. Stoner Dave's attic. The Brooklyn brewery. My new job. After hours are Maxwell's. Homemade water slide day. Freeze tag night. Wrestlemania pizza party. October BBQ at Dave's. Thanksgiving with my friends. Away we go alone in Montclair and a flask. The 9 person ukulele jam. That night I got it all off my chest. The thousands of moments with my friends that I could never even begin to try to write down. That week where we flirted over the phone, I think that was ISLY week.And this, this post which was the best thing I've written to date.

To sit and dwell on the many negative aspects would just be a bummer.

M.Ward - I'll be yr bird

And despite it all, I still post for an audience of one.

Then when there's no one to care,
I could protect like I've always been there,
I'll become your bear.

I'm working on a collective of new music. It's going to be called "Forgive Yourself"

I think I keep it just to always have a little space somewhere that I can listen to really great songs.

ISLY.